Monday, December 8, 2008

Home Remedies

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies!
1. When choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto the blockage will instantly remove itself!
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. To treat high blood pressure; simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Thought for the day... Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

That's funny right there...I don't care who ya are...

1 comment:

RitterB's said...

I am having a super bad stressful day! Your quick fixs are amazing! Thanks for the giggle!